Failure

My granny while on her death bed
She turned and said to me
"Why must you view life so morbidly?

I tried to teach you right
But somewhere I went wrong
'Cuz you sing those
Death death devil devil evil evil songs"

When six pallbearers put her down
And laid her body in the ground
My eyes were red
My face was very long

The pastor said "son here you are
Won't you please take this guitar
Sing dear departed Granny one last song"

And I sang death death
devil devil devil devil
evil evil evil evil songs
Hell you know that's how I get along

The world is full of tragedies
So how can it be wrong?
Singing death death death death
Devil devil evil evil songs

When I was shopping at Hot Topic
And I was walking out the door
When two dumb jocks came up to me
They said "Hey fag it ain't Halloween"
And they kicked my lipstick to the floor

And I sang death death
devil devil devil devil
evil evil evil evil songs
Hell you know that's how I get along

The world is full of idiots
So how can it be wrong?
Singing death death death death
Devil devil evil evil songs

When I went down to church on Sunday
I sat up front in a pew
The priest said "Jesus and Mary too
son what the devil's got into you
Get up and sing a hymn or two"

And I sang death death
devil devil devil devil
evil evil evil evil songs
And you know that's how I get along

The world's full of hypocrisies
So how can it be wrong?
Singing death death death death
Devil devil evil evil songs

When I was invited to the White House
The president pulled me aside
He said "Son sing us a song of peace
For those evil-doers in the Middle East"
I rolled my eyes and kicked this rhyme

I sang death death
devil devil devil devil
evil evil evil evil songs
Hell you know that's how I get along

The world is full of W's
So how can it be wrong?
Singing death death death death
Devil devil evil evil songs

Well then I died and went to Hell
I could tell right away by the awful smell
That this was clearly not the pearly gates
The devil said "come here young man
My wife and I are your biggest fans"
So naturally I felt I had it made

Well then he reached into an iron chest
And he picked the tool that he felt was best
And then he jabbed me in the shlong
With a pitchfork that had sharpened prongs
He turned to me and winked and sang this song

He sang death death
devil devil devil devil
evil evil evil evil songs
Yeah I know that's how you got along

I find your songs hilarious
But now your soul's precarious
Singing your death death death death
Devil devil evil evil songs

I'm just kidding kid
Welcome to Hell
Enjoy the buffet

Death death
devil devil devil devil
evil evil evil evil songs
Hell you know that's how we get along

The world is full of sinners
So how can it be wrong?
Singing death death death death
Devil devil evil evil songs

Alas, this is not my offering but that of a very funny fellow named Voltaire. It was on an IPod I swiped from one of my victims, and I have to say, I find him hilarious. (haha) I think we'd get along smashingly. Hopefully I wouldn't have to kill him, but one never knows before actually meeting someone. I think I'd probably apologize to the fellow, but... I have never shirked my duties, and he wouldn't be the first clown I've had to kill. Hell, he might even be one of the clowns I killed in a previous incarnation. Nothing personal.

Well, the chap who went storming into the ruin to kill the Lady's warped little gathering of former kinsmen failed spectacularly, as I guessed that he would. I must admit that it was through no fault of his own. Now that I've read both accounts, he might have taken both women down easily if not for the unforeseen arrival of the beast-man.

If nothing else, it gives me a better picture of what goes on within the walls. And now with the wards... I shall have to keep an eye out for opportunities as they arise, pick them off, one by one. It will be difficult as they have so many eyes on them at the moment, but it's not the hardest job I've ever had. Perhaps a little misdirection is in order. Too bad the witch trials are long done. I had so much fun with the Inquisition! Hmmm, maybe I can foster that kind of paranoia again when Marduk crushes humanity back into the stone age. It's almost too easy to make humans turn on their strongest defenders. These young souls always think first of what they would do with such power. Jealousy and paranoia are like reigns and crop; careful use of either and they practically do my work for me.